Jokes in English for the ESL/EFL Classroom
A Project of The Internet TESL JournalTeachers often use jokes in the ESL/EFL classroom to teach culture, grammar and vocabulary.
If you know a joke that works well with ESL/EFL students, please submit the joke.Jokes | Misuse of EnglishMisuse of EnglishEnglish Teacher: "Johnny, the clock on the wallis not working, but you have a watch. What time is it?"
Johnny: "2 o"watch."
Submitted by Jing WenA young man comes before a customs agent.
A: "State your citizenship."
B:"American" (pronounced with a Spanish accent).
A: "Hold on there, buddy. Say that again."
B: "I sed American."
A: "I"m going to give you a test."
B: "No, no senor, no need for test, I tell you I"m American."
A: "Yeah, sure buddy. OK, let"s see, ... I"ve got it. Make a sentencewith the following colors: green, pink and yellow."
B: "Oh senor, I tell you I"m American. But OK, let"s see... I was atmy bruder-in-laws house and the phone went "green, green, I pinked it upand sed yellow!"
Submitted by Carlos Manuel HernandezMy student who did not speak much English wantedto impress me one day. She had to walk past me while I was talking to someone.She said, "Excuse me, can I pass away?"
Submitted by AmeliaThe day of the oral exam:
Teacher: Are you nervous?
Student: No, I am not. I am single.
Teacher: Is this your pencil?
Student: Yes, I am a pencil.
Teacher: What are you wearing?
Student: I am fat.Anecdote -- presented to me, by a student, as a true story
(might be used for introducing a phonology lesson):
The teacher was beginning the lesson and noticed a student dozing.
She said sharply, "Taro, are you _ready_?"
Taro, jolted to attention, replied, "No! I"m _man_!"
Submitted by Rodney A. Hoiseth - Roth CorporationThese are true stories.
Emiko shared a house with an American guy and his dog. Every month,he puts some flea medicine on his dog. One day, when he was putting themedicine, he told Emiko, "This flea medicine is expensive." She was confusedand asked him, "Expensive? Didn"t you just say it was FREE?"
Emiko went to a sandwich café with her American roommate. A waitressasked what they wanted. Emiko said, "I have a crab sandwich." Her roommateordered a turkey sandwich. After a few minuets, their orders were ready.They sat at the table and got a bite. After a bite, Emiko showed her sandwichand said, "There is no crab." "What do you mean? You"ve got ham, bacon,and," with a big smile on his face, he said to Emiko, "You wanted to eatCRAB. Not a CLUB sandwich."Here"s an old joke (revamped for EFL classes).
Three EFL students are walking down the road to their remedial listeningcomprehension workshop.
"It"s windy" says the first.
"No it isn"t, it"s Thursday" says the second.
"Me too." says the third, "Forget the listening, let"s go for a drink!"
Submitted by Bernadette KellyTwo old men were sitting next to each other onthe London subway (tube). Their hearing wasn"t so good.
One says, "Is this Wembley?"
"No," the other says, "It"s Thursday."
The first replies, "No thanks, I already had a drink."
Submitted by Kevin RyanStudent to teacher," Are "pants" singular or plural?"
Teacher, "They"re singular on top and plural on the bottom."
Submitted by Emil A student, who is studying English as a foreignlanguage, was confused when he saw the words "open here" on a box of laundrysoap, so he asks the clerk, "Can"t I wait until I get home to open it?"
Submitted by Suwan Kansanoh
Misuse of EnglishCopyright (C) 1998-2005 by The Internet TESL Journal
